Military Life & Resilience

Keynotes | Training | Retreats | Consults

Dr. Margarita Gurri is by far the most dynamic speaker I have had the privilege of working with. Her patriotism is unparalleled and her love for our country and those who serve to support it shine through in every aspect of her engagements. The common-sense approach to tackling daily military challenges is inspiring. The feedback we receive from our attendees demonstrates that she connects, relates, and inspires service members and families alike. The passion for our Military shines through in her presence and presentations!—Susan Hare, Warrior & Family Support Regional Coordinator

Programs for
Military Leaders | Teams | Organizations

Learn the mindsets, skills, and habits needed to
work well, be happy, and be profitably productive.


Course 1—Banish Burnout: What It Looks Like; How to Fix It

Burnout is real. Understand the brain science of stress so you can banish the emotional, physical, and behavioral symptoms of burnout, even when dealing with COVID, fierce professional competition, and ever-changing business requirements.

Learning Objectives:

  • List the five stages of burnout
  • Recognize the physical, emotional, and behavioral signs of burnout
  • Identify three strategies to regroup and recharge
Conflict NO

Course 2—Boost Performance: Manage Time for Work and Fun

All work, and no play, makes everyone dull and unprofitably unproductive. Success in your work requires clarity of thought, time management, and critical thinking that spring from a foundation of work-life balance. Learn the mindsets, skills, and habits needed to work well, be happy, and be profitably productive.

Learning Objectives:

  • Identify 3 barriers to peak performance
  • Recognize the science of fun and performance
  • List 3 time management strategies

Course 3—Communication Strategies: Set Limits, Manage Conflict, and Clarify Expectations

Business is about people. Client satisfaction, productivity, and effectiveness require clear communication of the task at hand, essential limits, and resources. Learn the mindsets, skills, and habits needed to work well, be happy, and profitably productive.

Learning Objectives:

  • Identify the 3 levels of anger
  • Apply humor to 3 limit-setting techniques
  • Recognize 3 core communication competencies



1. Communication Aikido 

Aikido is a martial art devoted to managing conflict so that no one gets harmed. Learn the mindsets, skills, and habits needed to manage expectations, limits, and conflict graciously with humor.

Learning Objectives

  • Identify the Three Levels of Anger™
  • Apply humor to three limit-setting techniques
  • Recognize and practice seven core communication competencies
Communication Miss Cans

2. Core Communication Competencies

Inspire, lead ethically, and speak to connect with your team, clients, and loved ones. Practice using humor and personal power to set limits and establish expectations.

Learning Objectives

  • Understand why people are difficult
  • Master the Seven Core Communication Competencies
  • Create a Communication Action Plan

3. Speak with Impacrt and Influence

Master the basics of speaking and presenting. Speaking is about impact. How do you influence others?

Learning Objectives

  • Speak with eloquence
  • Hone your key messages
  • Speak to connect listeners with your Ideas
  • Communicate and connect by being authentically you
  • Grow your business with masterful networking

4. Tango Leadership: Lead So They Follow; Speak So They Listen

Use the principles of Tango Leadership to inspire others to follow your team to success and happiness. Fun, informative, and you learn to tango!

Learning Objectives

  • Lead so they follow
  • Understand the impact of nonverbal cues
  • Speak so they listen
  • Practice leadership communication strategies
  • Tango with clear communication

Deal with Difficult People
Manage Six Difficult Communication Styles

Front Cover ColorMeDifficult

Reduce stress, increase productivity, and bring out the best in your team.

Understand six styles of difficult people

  • Harness the power of conflict with humor
  • Learn by misbehaving as difficult people
  • Create a Red Shoe Leader Action Plan

Leadership requires practicing new mindsets and skills. Start with empathy, commitment, and a plan.

Manage Conflict
Fair Fighting Priciples

Bride zilla
  • Understand why people misbehave
  • Identify common anger triggers
  • Master Polite Shut-Ups©
  • Practice the Three Levels of Anger communication strategies

Business stress can bring out the worst in the best of us. Handling the different personalities and stressors is key to your success. Mindsets, anger triggers, communication skills, and a bit of humor to bring out the best in you and your team. Provides a deeper dive into group dynamics.

Strategies to Use Stress to Shine at Work and at Home


Awk... STRESS!  A little can be motivating and help us focus. A lot can block productivity, happiness, and even fun. It's up to us how we prevent, manage, and respond to life's stressors.

  • Banish burnout: What it looks like and how to fix it
  • Boost performance: Manage time for work and fun
  • Build communicaiton strategies: Set limits, manage conflict, and clarify expectations
  • Explore humor and play as stress-reduction strategies
  • Practice destress strategies

Run Effective Virtual Meetings
Bring Out the Best in Each Team Member


Life's too short for boring meetings that accomplish little.

  • Master the video and audio of remote technologies
  • Engage your team before, during, and after meetings
  • Cultivate a culture of risk for exploring new ideas
  • Manage the flow of communication in times of crisis
  • Deal with disruptive communicator styles
  • Practice strategies for running an effective virtual meeting

Programs & Retreats
Leaders, Teams, Parents, & Couples
Onsite | Virtual


Half-Day to Three-Day Retreats

Playful Loving
Sex, Intimacy, and Play


Hilarious, G-rated program that unpacks the experiences of military couples and civilian communities. A practical look at the ups & downs of emotions & intimacy. Dr. Red Shoe, a seasoned licensed psychologist, humorist, and speaker shares keen observations and offers solutions to couples and those who seek a partner. Have fun and laugh as you tackle what might otherwise be an awkward topic.

Learning Objectives

  • Identify elements of the continuum of sexual & romantic interest
  • Understand the brain, pleasure, and touch
  • List 3 strategies to lovingly say "NO" and offer playful alternatives
  • Practice communication strategies to enhance intimacy with your partner or future partner

Joyful Rhythms Parenting Strategies
Temperament, Talent, and Healthy Family Life


As the saying goes, parents are as happy as the most unhappy child. Military life offers challenges that impact each child and family differently. Understand the temperament and talents of each child to create an effective, family culture. Foster indepence, competence, and happiness.

Learning Objectives

  • Identify the temperament of each child
  • Understand Joyful Rhythms as limit setting
  • List 3 strategies to lovingly say "NO" and offer playful alternatives
  • Practice creating Family Agreements for work and play


Awareness, Prevention, & Healing
for Kids | Families | Teams



Flag For 22, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Flag for 22 Highlights Suicide Awareness

It gives voice to the hidden wounds of the 22 US veterans who succub to sucide each day.

Image: Founder of Flags of Honor, David "Mac" McElroy with Heidi "Blue" Hansing and the Remembrance Flag, August 2020


Suicide PreventionHotline

Every day, 22 US veterans succumb to suicide.

Globally, according to the World Health Organization:

  • Every 40 seconds, someone succumbs to suicide, this is 800,000 each year
  • For each suicide, 20 more attempt suicide
  • Suicide is the world's second leading cause of death for 15-29-year-olds

We must do better.

Click for more information



Hope is one call away, 24-7!


What to Do & Say
Save a Life!


Laugh. Play. Connect. Why not prevent suicide with humor, attentive, and authentic connection? Caring, meaning, and wonder saves lives.

  • Notice risk factors
  • Practice what to say and do
  • Learn to listen
  • Use humor and play to connect
  • Know available resources day and night


Wonder, Humor, & Other Antidotes to Misery
Mindsets & Actions

You can create your happiness and success. Explore mindsets and strategies that foster satisfaction, productivity, and creativity.

  • Learn to use misery to invite clarity and energize positive action
  • Explore humor and play as stress-reduction strategies
  • Understand barriers to mindfulness
  • Practice setting limits with yourself and others
  • Cultivate a culture of wonder


Purple Up!
Suicide Awareness, Prevention, & Healing


With more frequent deployments, less time between them, and more transitions—depression and suicide struggles are realities that need skill and compassion to address effectively.

  • Notice the signs
  • Practice what to say and do
  • Know available resources day and night
  • Manage the flow of communication
  • Create an Open Discussion culture plan

Why Purple?
There’s a tradition in the military referring to the color purple for military organizations and activites including civilians and military personnel from all branches.

Military kids with the South Dakota National Guard suggested the title of Purple Up. Normally, it's a slogan and color used to celebrate military kids. They generously offered this title and suggested the color purple, as it represents all branches of the military.

Joyful Rhythms®
Professional Development for Chaplains
& Civilian First Responders | Mental Health Professionals



Chaplains are the first line of defense and the bottom line.
Ongoing support and professional development are essential.

shutterstock_93735853 (1)

Goal: prepare chaplains to better foster resilience in families, couples, & parents as they face the joys and challenges of life. Programs range from 45-min to three-day retreats to year-round coaching. Keynotes, breakouts and training, and coaching are available via virtual and onsite formats.

  • Compassion Fatigue in the time of COVID-19
  • Deal with Fatigue, Grief, Loss, and Change
  • Marriage and Couple retreats
  • Family and Parent Wellness retreats
  • Date Night programs
  • Positive Parenting and Temperament
  • Bullies, Heroes, and Victims for Military Kids
  • Tears, Tempers, and Polite Shut-Ups
  • Communication Aikido Listening Toolkit

Foster resilience! Dr. Red Shoe uses playful humor to address the toughest relationship challenges facing military couples, parents, and families. Communication strategies revitalize connection, intimacy, and joy.

Now What?
Self Care for Chaplains & Mental Health Professionals


You make a difference. Now what?
Prevent burnout and secondary trauma with a frank discussion.

  • Embrace self care
  • Create a supportive culture before, during, and after close calls
  • Practice what to say and do
  • Sculpt a personal and team Responder Care Plan


AARs, Debriefs, &
Facilitated Discussions


Leaders, first responders, warriors, teams of chaplains, mental health professionals, and their families need support, so they can do it over again.

Prevent burnout and secondary trauma with an AAR, facilitated frank discussion, or clinical incident debrief.


CERT generic
CERT generic

After the Action...
Schedule an AAR or update your skills with Dr. Red Shoe 

Working teams of first responders, warriors, chaplains, medical and mental health professionals are there when we need them. Dealing with trauma, grief, loss, change, tempers, and suicide takes its toll. Processing event impacts enhances resilience, performance, and growth for individuals and teams. Prevent burnout, compassion fatigue, and moral injury.


Dr. Red Shoe uses playful humor to address even the toughest situations. Combat the compassion fatigue that reduces response performance and wellness. Put lessons learned to good use. Discuss what works, what doesn't, and brainstorm solutions together.

  • Candidly and safely air issues and events
  • Update skillsets
  • Refresh mindsets
  • Use lessons learned to innovate solutions


How to Plan & Conduct & Clinical
After Action Reviews, Town Hall Meetings, Facilitated DIscussions, & Debriefs


Run effective meetings. Learn what to do had how to do it; what to say to whom, when, where, and how.

  • Before a meeting
  • During a meeting
  • After a meeting
  • Practice in a fun way what not to do and what to do


Run Effective Meetings
Onsite, Virtual, or Hybrid

Team Growth

After action support is viral. Learn how to plan and conduct effective After Action Reviews. Learn communication strategies needed to:

  • Assess what happened
  • Identify why it happened
  • Explore better approaches
  • Practice the steps needed for an effective AAR

Dr. Margarita Gurri is a consummate professional who brings deep thinking, delightful humor, and authenticity to everything she does whether she's speaking, coaching, problem-solving or writing. I've worked on numerous projects and participated in various brainstorming and mastermind groups with Dr. Gurri focused on ethics, marketing, problem-solving, and communication. I cannot recommend ANYONE more confidently and enthusiastically.—Susan Brender, Communications Expert and Host of “The Susan Brender Show”